A melange of discomfort

I haven't slept well in weeks & I hardly eat anymore. Which is strange since it's tiring being anxious all the time. You know how they say, "You never appreciate something until it's gone"? Well, here's a variation...you never hold on so tight to something until you're afraid to lose it. The problem for me is that holding on too tight may be the wrong answer. I think I've fucked up my second chance at happiness and I don't know what to do.