...And so it begins.

Howdy. I'm not sure how you wound up here, but feel free to stick around. I'm sure this will turn into a massive bout of whining and self-recrimination, so I won't be offended if you hit the back button. Also, there'll be swearing and the odd not-so-PC term bandied about...if that offends you fuck off now.

Let's see, let me list off my faults (as I see them):

• I'm fat - I'm not hideously obese, but I'm definitely not healthy.


• I'm old - OK, 36 is not that old. I just feel old. Tired. Worn out. Over it.


• I'm a socially awkward nerd - Frankly, the fact that I managed to land a pretty damn hot woman, marry her and father a child by her still astounds me. I've never been sure how I'm supposed to pick up women - I've pretty much lucked into it every time. I see a pretty woman and the first thing I wonder is if she thinks I'm leering at her.


• I'm lonely - I'm technically still married, but she moved out and moved on a while ago. I'm sure the fact that I'm not officially divorced is queering it for some of the ladies out there, but let's be honest the first three bullets aren't helping my cause any.


• I'm depressed - I don't really like my job anymore, but the pay is good and I hate looking for a new job. I have a hard time getting up in the morning and staying focused at work. That combined with the first four bullets does not a good combination make.


• I'm a WoW crackhead - I play a lot. I don't think it qualifies as video-game addiction, because I think that and sex addiction are complete fucking cop-outs. It would take some concerted effort on my part to give up the game, but I can. Some may say that that's the sort of thing an addict would say. My reply would be something along the lines of 'feel free to believe what you want, I don't fucking care about your opinion.' Still, I should cut back in my play time.

In summary, I don't like me very much. I should change that. Now, how to do that?

Points in my favor:

• I'm a decent looking guy - shed the excess pounds and I might qualify for handsome.


• I'm witty/funny - I credit Douglas Adams, Monty Python and George Carlin for helping me cultivate my sense of humor. I'm not the funniest man who ever lived, but I do pretty well when it comes to amusing those around me.


• I'm a decent lover by all accounts - not to sound too full of myself, but I have been told by a few independent sources that I'm good in the sack. I'll wager it has to do with me liking to give 'oral pleasure' and have a good sized wang.

Hmmm...looks like I need to get some more points in the plus column.

I think I'll stop here for now and pick up again later.