Stood up

So, my date turned out pretty poorly. I got to the restaurant at the agreed upon time and waited. Admittedly, she texted me to let me know that she had a client she had to take care of and that she'd be late. It would have been nice to know she wasn't coming BEFORE I spent an hour and a half being a cliche by sitting alone at the table with two menus and telling the waiter I was going to wait a bit longer. I'm sure the servers and other patrons got a good chuckle at my expense.

What was equally delightful was my ex's response to this. She claims up and down that she's my friend and only wants good things for me, yet when she found out I'd been stood up her first reaction wasn't to get pissed off on my behalf, but to tell me I should try again. What this tells me is that since she's already moved on she doesn't want to have to contend with the guilt of me being alone while she runs off with another guy. I wouldn't really be peeved if it weren't for her habit of feeding me little helpings of affection to keep me interested. I'm pretty much convinced that I will always be a safe fallback for her...the guy she left me for turns out to be the douche everyone told her he was, that's ok she's got me; new boyfriend dumps her to go back to his wife, that's ok she's got me.

I'm also feeling let down by my buddy...tho frankly it's not that big of a surprise. I called to talk after I knew I'd been officially stood up and left the restaurant & I got VM. On top of that I've gotten no response whatsoever...maybe tomorrow he'll pop up and say something. I'm 99% sure the reason was that he was talking to my ex...after all, he's the new boyfriend. I don't really resent them dating - he's far and away a better guy than the guy she left me for. It would have been better for him to end his marriage before starting up a fling with her, but it's their lives, let them screw them as they see fit...maybe it'll work out in the end and they'll be happy. Someone ought to be.

I know, this sounds like a whole boatload of 'poor me' and to a degree it is. Of course, that's why I setup this blog...so I could bitch and moan about my life and hash things out. Venting is good...keeps shit from getting bottled up and then exploding. Maybe now I can sleep instead of staring at the ceiling for 2 hours.